Tuesday, October 9, 2007

Gender

I talked before about how we are working on getting Derek to use "me" and "you" properly. And we have seen improvements. Hooray! (Did I tell you about the weird sentences that this would produce? The strangest of all was "I use your penis.")

Our next challenge is getting him to use gendered third person pronouns properly. Right now it's pretty random. He, she, it, is all mixed up and rather arbitrary.

At the crux of using the right gender to refer to people is realizing what gender they are. And I don't think Derek really gets it. He's seen Allen and I naked and has noticed that Allen has a penis and I don't. The old school way to explain gender is the "boys have a penis and girls have a vagina." However, though that is how people tend to get put in gender categories, it's not how we know that people we meet on the street are girls or boys. It's all those secondary sex characteristics that people display. In this day and age they are such subtle cues, too. I'm having trouble figuring out what "rules" for gender to present to Derek. Girls wear skirts, but not all the time. Men have beards, but not all of them. Long or short hair gives you no clue these days. Girls just kinda look like girls and boys just kinda look like boys.

Perhaps we should go be Amish. Oh wait, no Homestar Runner.

1 comment:

Unknown said...

Reminds me of when my little brother as a toddler told me that, "Men have penises and women have 'ginas," but that a little girl he knew had a penis. And I was in college and just learning about trans and gender-queer issues... I think I said something like, "Very, very few girls have penises." True, but how confusing for kids! He didn't look confused though. He nodded wisely and seriously. Too bad gender is such a big deal in our society and our language.