Derek's pictures

Dang, it's been a long time. I started a new job, so that's been my excuse lately. Before that, it was how tiring the other one was. But this one is full time and even more exhausting. I'll get used to it.

Anyway, Derek took some pictures the other day. We downloaded them and we'd like to share them.

In which I try to show Derek how blogging works

But he's kinda clueless andsays I should close it. But here is the picture he chose from Christmas.

Hey look! I got a digital camera for Christmas!

Here's my first picture with the new camera. Derek is thrilled.
So is Allen:

'Cause it's Christmas! Derek wanted me to take the following pictures.

His "glove:"

Bus:

Ball:Eyeball:Lunchbox:

Smokey, Allen and EZ Cheez. You can get them the fanciest smoked salmon and they'll sniff it and walk away. But EZ Cheez. EZ Cheez!

But the really great part of getting this camera is that now I can take pictures of Lego sets to sell on eBay and get the money to pay for Derek's continued speech therapy. Friday was our last visit with our beloved therapist at the Scottish Rite Clinic (free and doesn't discriminate based on income!!). The object of their program is to get kids ready for school and since Derek is in school and doing well, it was time to leave the SR program. Plus, our therapist got a full time position at OHSU, so it was sort of a natural time to break things off. We're looking at several therapists, none of which our insurance covers, naturally. So Allen agreed to sell his Lego sets. There's an entire room of our house dedicated to the Legos and they should fetch a couple thousand dollars when we're all done. But first a working digital camera was necessary. Next, I'll parcel them out and sell the Legos online. And have more interesting blog posts. Unlike this one, which is quickly going downhill into boring details. Look, more pictures!

Merry Christmas!! Love, Karen and family.

School Conference and Thanksgiving

Monday was our parent teacher conference at school. I'm pleased to report that Derek is meeting or exceeding all literacy benchmarks for his age AND has made friends of a sort. He shows a strong preference to a boy named Tyler in class and Tyler's parents would like us to get together for playdates and such. Yay!

I wish wish wish my digital camera was working because I would love to post pictures of some of Derek's writing. He is writing and drawing on practically everything these days. He can write the words "penny" and "moon" and likes to write jibberish all over the paper. He gets worksheets at school that have a letter, then a line of other letters and his job is to pick out the letter that matches the first letter. He recreates these at home and makes me do them. He also likes to draw on himself and the walls and somehow always draws his best artwork there. Yesterday it was a picture of a person sleeping in a carseat on his arm. A few weeks ago he drew an expressive person on my bedroom wall and it's still there, partly because I am lazy, but mostly because I am impressed. I think since school started he has spent more time drawing than lining up toys. Holy cow! She's a powerful sorceress, this Ms. McCormick.

Derek is with typical kids for Music and PE and is doing well. Some humming and weird vocalizing, but overall very well behaved.

Overall, I think Derek is in a really good placement for Kindergarten, about the best it could be given our financial and geographic constraints. And for that I give Thanksgivings.

Still Eating at the Table - Woot!

Just wanted to let both of you know that we are still eating at the table with good consistency. Yay for us!

Errands after school are really hard, though. Derek is exhausted and cranky and I've been dealing with plenty of crap at work, so patience is in short supply on both sides. Some afternoons are mostly temper tantrum, recovery, temper tantrum, recovery, temper tantrum, etc. But we had a good day yesterday. We didn't go anywhere because I did the grocery shopping before he came home from school. I wasn't feeling cranky or spacey from work, he didn't have to behave properly in the overwhelming grocery store.

Derek is excited about traffic lights these days. He used to have a compulsive thing where he would only walk down the street if the light up ahead was red. He hasn't done that in awhile. Now he likes to make his vehicles wait for the light when he's playing. He's really bossy and makes us all wait incredibly long. If there were real traffic lights that long, I'd fire the traffic engineer. Derek also comments on the state of the traffic lights as we are driving.

I went to yoga class in ages yesterday. My work got a grant to bring in a yoga class to the students and the teacher has extended complimentary yoga classes to the staff. The teacher is excellent and I enjoyed myself very much. My therapist will be proud of my excellent self care. Derek got to hang out with Sean and Uncle Adam, which he usually seems to like. Once it becomes part of the routine, I hope everybody will look forward to Wednesdays.

Next time I will try to comment more on the tantrums and think about how they could be prevented.

Eating Salad at the Table

One advantage of autism can be the lack of imitation. When I was a kid I wanted to be like my mom, so I decided that I did not like tomatoes. Years later as an adult I ate a fresh tomato and loved it. Think of all the delicious fresh garden tomatoes I missed out on for twenty years.

Neither Allen nor I like melon or raisins. If our kid were typical, we'd probably have a completely melon and raisin free house, missing out on all that iron my mom goes on and on about every time I say I don't like raisins. Our child would go places and be rude not eating other peoples melon and raisin fruit salads. But lucky for us, he cares naught for what we like and decides whether he likes or dislikes something all on his own and will eat raisins, melons and peas with abandon where ever they are served.

Since I introduced the idea to him, three years ago or more, Derek hasn't liked anything leafy - green salad, collard greens, beet greens, mustard greens, kale, creamed spinach. Barely a bite. This has resulted in a lot of brocolli and cauliflower consumption at our house outside of green bean and asparagus season. But suddenly this last weekend Derek got excited about salad.

I was going through the vegetable drawer and found some spinach. Derek wandered by and exclaimed "Salad!" He tore off a bite and ate a bit of raw spinach. Who is this? Who stole my child and replaced him with this changeling?

Yesterday we're in the produce section walking toward the wall of salad. "Salad!" he exclaims again and runs over to choose a bag. He even chooses one of the larger bags of your basic green salad mix. I'm still a bit suspicious, so I suggest he choose the smaller bag.

This is where the other part of the title comes in. For the last couple years, Derek hasn't liked to eat at a table. He'll eat while wandering or while watching TV or while playing, but hardly ever at the table and it's a losing battle to get him to sit at one. Last week after school, he ordering me around a pretend school day. He'd pretend to hand me a colored ticket and insist I go to that station. It occurs to me that I can hijack this system school has drilled into his head and make our kitchen table like a station at school. I made a little purple envelope and two purple tickets. Now I give him that ticket and say "Go to purple" and he will go sit at the table.

The potential flaw in the plan is not in the system, but in the person implementing the system. I've made countless resolutions to get Derek to sit at the table, to eat real meals, and so on. I'll get enthusiastic for a week and then slack off and things are back to the status quo. And the guilt and self-berating begins. However, I think I have a new perspective on this. For the last five years I've been pretty consistent about bedtime. I take him through almost the same routine almost every night. So if I can do that, I can establish and consistently take him through a dinnertime routine. School has established this ticket system for me, so I don't have to train him on that. It's good for both of us to sit down together for dinner, so it will reinforce itself soon, like bedtime does. And now I've got both of you gentle readers to remind me. Yay!

So yesterday I implemented the new system. He sat down to dinner. I served salad. He ate some. A flake of snow fell in hell.

Throwing

Derek's been using throwing lately as a way to express that he's upset with something, cleaning up especially, sometimes if the dog eats his food, or I don't understand him. It's not okay and we tell him so, but the behavior continues. I was looking into social stories the other day for Allen and his cousin, and it occured to me that this would be a good way to explain to Derek that it's okay to throw sometimes, playing catch and so forth, but not when you're angry. (Here's a link to the site, if you have no idea what a social story is)

So here is the draft of his story:

Derek Throws: The Pleasure and the Peril

Sometimes throwing is good and fun to do. Sometimes throwing is not okay.

Catch is a fun game. I like to play catch. I know that someone is ready to play catch when they are looking at me and have their arms out, ready to catch. Then it's best to throw the ball right to the person. Then they will throw the ball back and we are playing a fun game of catch!

Sometimes I have to put some garbage in the garbage can or some clothes in a laundry basket. It can be fun to throw the clothes or the garbage in their place. I might even practice making baskets by throwing beanbags into a basket.

It is not okay to throw things when I am angry, sad, or frustrated. I might break the thing I throw or hurt another person. Instead of throwing, I could cry, say "I'm mad!", hit the floor or a pillow with my hands, or take a break.

Throwing things can be lots of fun, if I do the kinds of throwing that are okay.


Ta-da! What do you think, y'all?